A student of mine, who I have had the pleasure of working with for over 10 years, recently came to me because she had old back pain resurface. She had a pattern that had originated with an accident, but once that was healed and resolved, the pain would return under stress.
Old habits we have learned or experienced don’t magically go away. They stay in the brain. Yet, we can learn more pleasurable and functional ways of moving and being that don’t hurt. The body/brain likes them;-) And overtime, they can become our habits. 🌈The old ones, in a sense, lose dominance.
My student is a psychotherapist. As you can imagine working masked through the pandemic trying to help people has been extra hard. For one, she can’t see the most significant part of the face for expression! The lower half of our face both consciously and unconsciously communicates so much of what we are feeling, thinking and what is going on with us.
One small bite of the lip or movement of the mouth – we notice it and register that something is going on for that person no matter what they are saying out loud. We read the face and know when a persons words don’t match their insides.
For humans not seeing the lower half of the face and trying to ‘read’ and sense what is going on with another person is like having a dog that is unable to smell. It is REALLY hard to function.
When I explained this (with more detail) and the stress that it could cause to the nervous system – she got teary eyed. She had not really stopped to consider just how much harder her job had gotten. She was in a tough situation, she didn’t really want to stop and reflect. She wanted to get it over with…
We have all been there.
Sometimes we don’t want to be present to what is going on because it is hard, painful, stressful (at times it is even best not to be with it in the moment in order to survive the moment). We do all sorts of things unconsciously to lessen our connection to the situation. We hold our breath and tense our abdomen. We tense our muscles and ‘brace’ ourselves. We clench our jaw. We tighten our throat so we don’t yell. We brace our chest so it doesn’t hurt our heart.
Doing these things can be effective in the short term. We can steel ourselves in a situation to ‘get through’ it. The problem is that it becomes a way of living.
We’ get through’ our day at work, our workout at the gym, our family gathering.
We act like we will ‘live’ when these things are over.
Do we though?
For many of us, we unwittingly start living like we are just getting through it.” I’ll really live when I retire, when I ….”
This approach becomes a plan that turns into a habit.
Habits like this zap 💀us of living. They cut us off from the beauty right in front of us. 👋
Each day, my student was seeing as many people as she could, taking few breaks. This was all so she could get home and go for a run before it was dark out.
When I asked when the back pain resurfaced, she said it was when she started to add mileage to her daily runs.
“Why did you want to add mileage?”
“Because the runs were not helping me get exhausted enough to be able to sleep. My brain would still be going at night and keep me up. I have to be really physically tired to sleep. “
It became clear that she was going through her day, getting it all in as fast as possible in order that she could be ‘done’ and get home. She was holding it all in and then running it all out.
That approach works for a while. Running is a great way to release the stress, but her body was telling her it was not working anymore. I don’t think it was the running or increase in distance that was the issue.
She needed to learn how to regulate herself more throughout her day – how to take breaks, recharge and find pleasure throughout the day instead of getting home ready to burst .
The “waiting until” strategy it is very different when we LIKE our job or the thing we are doing and YET we are still acting like we need to get it over with. It is understandable how she got there. She was just treading water as long as she could.
This pandemic is endemic. There is no clear ‘end.’ There will only be a normalizing of a new way of proceeding.
My student had not quite seen that she was trying to outrun and will herself through a very long period of stress. Her body was showing her she could not outrun it. She was going to have to find another way to proceed.
All it took was a few questions. And just like that… she had the ability to see her pattern. 🌟
She had the chance to see her agency and where she might make small changes during her day. Because even though the running is where the pain showed up – it was what she was doing during her day that was the root of the issue.
Could she take more mini breaks between clients? Could she do things that were more pleasurable here and there? Could she go outside and look at the sky now and then?
These things are very simple, and they make a difference. We want the answers to be big and dramatic – but they rarely are.
Instead of getting through it, she started to consider how she might bring more enjoyment into the day. And how she might get home, still wanting to run, but not ready to explode with stress.
After talking, I gave her a hands-on lesson. She found a functional way to move again. Her back didn’t hurt at all.
Consider the process lived. The more you engage with your body and your sensations the more present you will be in your day-to-day life. When you can, feel what you feel, see what you see, smell what you smell, and taste your food. – it will deliver smack into the process of living like nothing else can.
And once you are in the process – in your body and all of its humanity, you will also experience awe, wonder, creativity and all things that are transcendent and feel bigger than you too. Our finite bodies are our connection to things much greater than us. Our finite bodies are how we experience it all.
You are not a product. You are a process.
Consider paying attention. I promise you will not be disappointed.
XO
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Ways to learn together in 2022:
I have been taking time to reflect on the past year, and look ahead. When I asked myself what I miss and want to create or bring into the world – one thing I hear loud and clear is that I want to teach more often.
While I truly feel blessed by and love the opportunities, I have had over the past 2 years to teach at conferences, summits and to people all over the globe, I want more consistent connection with students. I miss knowing you.
One silver lining of the pandemic was a chance to study with some world renowned teachers. I have been studying breathwork, Somatic Experiencing with Peter Levine, as well as attending conferences with trauma and resilience expert Gabor Mate. It has informed my understanding of the nervous system and am excited to share this with you.
I am beginning an in person 7 week Awarness Through Movement series in the end of January! Very excited after being gone for so long.❤️
Shortly after that series begins, I would love to teach a 7 week series online. Awareness Through Movement lessons on a theme meeting 1x/week for 60-75 minutes.❤️
First theme =This class series will include somatic movement lessons that explore of how we can be deeply engaged in a process of change while caring for ourselves, and doing what is both pleasurable and regenerative. Students will have a chance to release old tension patterns in body and mind while building new patterns for both being and doing.
I will also share basic information about how your nervous system, body and brain work together as a system so you can begin to not only experience it, but also understand it.
Interested? Just reply to this email and I will send you more details.
Online classes and workshops:
People find these surprisingly intimate. It is really quite nice to be in the comfort of your home and learn. You need Wi-Fi and a camera and a place to lie or sit.
Generally, these classes take place from 12pm – 1pm weekdays (as this allows people to join from the west coast to Europe). For EST time zone it is a good break time mid-day.
In person Hands on Lessons:At my new studio, I see a limited # of students for hands on lessons in person. So nice!
Each lesson is tailored to your individual needs and allows for specific input.
These lessons take place with vaccination, ventilation, masks with adequate time between students for cleaning
1:1 online – this is personalized time according to your needs and wishes that includes some talking, and a verbally directed movement lesson tailored specifically to you in the moment.
All meetings and lessons are recorded. All recordings are yours to use and keep. For those interested, I also curate and suggest lessons from my recordings or from other teachers and sources.
THANKS!
