As life transitions out of the two years of intensive pandemic living and into the next phase, what comes next is not clear. It seems that while there is more opening and freedom to move, we lack some of the things we gained during the pandemic.
Call me crazy, but there are things that I miss about the last two years. I learned a lot.
Before I share what I miss, to be clear – I do not miss millions of people dying. I don’t miss the stress it caused front line workers and the inequities it increased. I don’t miss the stress and anxiety it caused for the immune compromised. I don’t miss the lost income people suffered. I don’t miss the separation from friends, family, and support. I don’t miss the stress it caused for children.
I do not miss any of the harm or anguish it caused people physically or mentally.
5 Things I appreciated about the pandemic:
Feeling connection. Knowing that what while we were not all in the same boat, we were all in the same storm. I liked being wide awake about my connection to humanity and the world. At any given moment, I knew that there was a very clear shared connection. Unlike chatting about the weather or sports, the connection was meaningful. I was hopeful that this would lead to a greater good – more shared resources and wealth distribution.
I took a hard look at my relationships and what needed tending. It became very clear to me what friendships and relationships were life supporting and which ones were draining. It was painful to realize that some of the connections and relationships I was in had been a one way street for too long, maybe even the whole time they existed. The pandemic made it clear that those relationships needed to be let go. No dramatic break up. Just a letting go.
My priorities became clear. What needed my total attention, what could be cut and let go was undeniable. In my case, my number #1 commitment was to my kids and the older members of my family. Their lives were the ones that needed the most shoring up. I felt like I was moving earth to secure the river banks. Every time there was about to be a flood, I would try to figure out what was needed to flow forward and not flood our systems.
Options were limited and, in the simplicity, I experienced surrender and relief. Options were limited, so what was truly needed became clear. Less options = less anxiety.
*There are plenty of good scientific studies on how people’s anxiety level increases as they are given more choices and options. If you’re reading this and you’re thinking “What? I had tremendous anxiety during COVID and locked down.” That is understandable as a response to that situation because you could not predict what was to come next. That is different than what I am talking about here.I am referring to the kind of anxiety that comes from going to the supermarket and having 7 different types of milks to choose from. People tend to feel tremendous responsibility to make the right choice and this creates anxiety. That option did not exist during the pandemic.
I gained in presence. There was hardly any way to escape what was right in front of you. It called on me to be fully present in my work and with my family.
I don’t like what is hard and needs to be endured unless there is a lesson in it. There is always a lesson in it for us, we just have to zoom out to find it sometimes.
You will not push out what is hard or work that out of your psoas muscle or whatever 😉 Challenges shape us, they influence what’s to come. Just like I said last time in this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4SOc8iratM).
Challenges shapes us, but they also show us that our capacity is WAY bigger than any challenge we face. We are way bigger than any challenge we face.
As things open up, remember we are in an excellent company. There are many people sitting with the same situations and feelings as us. Many people who have gone through what we’re going through now, have found solutions and are on the other side of the problem. There are both people who already figured things out that can help us and there are people who are in the same situation currently. There is both connection and support all around even if it’s not as obvious as it once was.
