| “Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible.” – Thich Nhat Hanh |
| This is a seed of a moment. Change is in the air. I know many of you are feeling burnt out. Students and friends keep saying how they are ‘over it’ and ready to move on. We are tired, but we also know there is work to be done to reimagine the lives and world we want to live and love in ❤️. Anyone who tells you they know what is to come next is lying or fooling themselves. None of us know – unless we see ourselves as passive without a part. In that case, the decisions will be made for us. What if we are the ones to build it? ⚡️ When I read The Potent Self, I fell in love. FINALLY a brilliant scholar and scientist was talking about how to take a look at what I had internalized from my culture come to believe about myself. He said I could do it with my whole self in a way that was PLEASURABLE. I had read a lot of philosophy and religious texts. None had said this. The way forward: ✅ was not an exercise of my will alone ✅ would not rely on my intellect and thinking alone ✅ wouldn’t rely on my verbal analysis alone The way forward was through connecting to my body. The same pathways that had formed my self-image in the first place, the ones I had used as an infant and child – movement, sensation and my felt sense – could be accessed to build a new self-image of my own choosing! I would and could build my internal landscape on my own terms. I still am. Regardless of why a student initially decides to work with me – what we are unpacking in some form is who they came to believe they were and building what it is they would like to experience and be instead. Anxiety, depression, burn out, loneliness is all part of living in a society that is living out of sync with the needs of our nervous systems and bodymind. We are out of sync with ourselves and with one another. Each and every one one of us has a part(s) of us that are marginalized by our culture – we have learned to hide those parts. The illnesses and discomforts we experience are part of this burying. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad we have agreements across cultures, but it also often means that we relegate parts of ourselves to the shadows and underground of our life. We leave parts of ourself in the shadows and neglect them, but they do not go away, instead they fester. When we deny any expression or contact with that part of us, we do ourselves a disservice. Let’s look at it in terms of who has access to power – within ourselves in and in our cultures. This month is the US is dedicated to honor Black History. Obviously, we don’t have a need for White History month because it is the dominant power running the show, determining the values and the storylines. We could say that recognizing Black History month is the beginning of publicly naming the inequity in society and the work that needs to be done. Obviously dedicating one month to an entire group within the society is not adequate and not the whole solution. But can it be a start? Can we start to listen to people whp were npt given access to power? I have a family member who is gay. This family member had always brought same sex partners to holiday dinners etc. No one talked about it, but no one seemed to care either. At some point this person, for a variety of reasons, decided to ‘announce’ that they were gay. I was maybe 23 years old. I called my Dad and started going on and one about how great it was that they felt comfortable telling us. My Dad’s response totally stopped me in my tracks. “I don’t think this is great. Astra, did you call me and announce that you preferred to date men? No. You didn’t. We will have made real progress when this does not need to be announced. When we all truly have equal access to power, we can show up as we are. No announcement needed.” He was right. That is the future I want to build toward. That future is going to take being willing to be awake while being hopeful, joyful and determined. Yes, it will need to include pleasure and rest too. Each of us has felt excluded from our culture or our family at some time – we have all gotten a big “no” here and there. We felt on the outside somehow. What did you do with those parts of yourself? Where do they go when you got the signal that they were not supposed to have a seat at the table? I was once told by a professor in college that I was brilliant, but couldn’t write. 🤣He said that until I learned to write, no one would understand me. I stopped writing for a long time. I quit college for a year. What he didn’t say was “you have a desire to relay complex information that may be hard to boil down into a soundbite or short paper for my class. Have you ever considered learning how to break those complex ideas into parts? Maybe I can teach you.” I honestly thought I was lacking or incapable. I was ashamed. I carried that around for YEARS and YEARS. I thought he knew something about me that I didn’t know. Moshe Feldenkrais thought that the children he worked with who were born with brains or bodies that put them on the margins of society were the most free. For example, the kids who needed braces to walk – they never had the sense that they could fit in. They were off the hook of societal expectations. They were free. If you are someone who wants to rebuild your self or your society , consider bringing all parts of yourself along – even the parts that you were taught should not have a voice. Can you grant them a voice? Can you give them some freedom? The parts on the fringe often hold great insight about what is broken or needs change in the society. They can see it all. What parts of yourself have you made bad or other? How might you connect with them? How might you extend compassion? You must step back and get a bog picture in order to have a better understanding and compassion. If you can do this for yourself – you can also do it for others. And the other way around too- if you already do that for others, you can allow this for yourself. If you want to look at how it lands in your body – notice the places you are tight, sore, stiffen and contract. Where is your breath shallow? Can you surrender and allow parts of your body to rest? What happens when you do? Do you collapse? Do you feel better? If you find it hard to let go of the contraction or muscle that is sore, instead try to tighten and stiffen even more. Then let go. Now notice how you feel. Notice your breath. This moment asks us about our own power, and our collective power – Let’s look where we might find freedom within the constraints of our life? Maybe we can take whatever it is we are chafing against and leverage that for growth? This moment is sobering, but our fate is not sealed. Maybe we can make a pearl from sand. A BIG thanks to those who joined the class I am assisting in. More chances to learn coming your way soon. Lots of love and cheers, Astra |
