an ode to Jay Z
Happy New Year’s Day 2022!
Thank you for being here.
As we turn the page on another year, I am reviewing the past 2 years (because who knows when 2020 ended and 2021 began) and dreaming about what is to come.
While so much of our world culture asks us to focus on what we will do… instead I am thinking about how I want to be, what I want to feel and the energy I will exude.🌟
Getting to this point has been a journey. I used to be primarily goal focused. You need to do x,y,z to win the prize? Hustle! “Ok. I will do it!” This sort of worked except I didn’t know what to do when I failed – like with meditation and achieving enlightenment 🤣And I internalized failing as if it meant I was something or was not something.
If you think you are something or are not something – then you are stuck. You’ve got to have it or not and ain’t nothing you can do. Not a fun place to be.
Then, came kids and motherhood. A job with no end. And as I learned, you can’t make a kid sleep. You really can’t – trust me. I tried in vain. Motherhood and my kids helped me realize that my life view needed recalibrating. If I stayed focused on the goal, I was going to be miserable and so would my family.
I remember planning a birthday gathering for my husband at our house when I still had kids under 4 years old. I was running around like a maniac – cleaning, vacuuming, moving piles. Besides wanting to throw a nice party, I was also really wanting not to stress myself and end up snapping at my kids or husband.
As I hustled around the room, I kept checking in with myself – was the amount of tension and stress I was moving with necessary? Did anyone else really care how clean the floor was? Did I care?
After friends had arrived, I looked up at the mantle above our wood stove to find a tennis sneaker perched on the mantle along with a dustpan and brush. It was an epiphany moment;-) – a true turning point.
Spotting the forgotten stuff and laughing instead of cringing = major progress! I even pointed it out to a few friends and laughed.
I was learning to make my peace with good enough AND becoming more focused on my experience than the outcome. That shift was leading to a better quality of life for my whole family.
Awareness Through Movement lessons are still helping me evolve my relationship to productivity. It is the one consistent practice that has enhanced the quality of my life and continues to today.
No longer am I solely focused on the outcome or the win as if my life has some finish line that once reached will = happiness. Instead now, I am way more aware, immersed in the moment and living my life guided by how I am being while I am doing.
“Even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
Instead of goals, maybe consider the ways you could slow down your engines and your hustles. What is it you want your life to feel like? Moment to moment and day to day?
We all have a warped understanding of hours and productivity. Every human needs to look at the clouds and cook soup now and then. We all require things that are less focused on achievement and more about attending to soul of our life. Our senses, body and awareness provide access to that – to our lived experience.
There are many things I want to be part of changing and creating in my lifetime – but I don’t want to do it from a place of hustle and never good enoughness. I want the process to guide the way.
I know at the end of a calendar there is encouragement all around for us to set new goals.
If the last 2 years has taught as ANYTHING, it is that you cannot plan for EVERYTHING, you can’t control everything, but you can move your focus.
Our lives are not something to get through. Our lives are something to connect to at each and every moment.
Keep on with your love,
Astra
